Love and Thanks to my 5%

95 % of the world believes some sort of deity/higher power. This leaves me with 5% of people who understand me. When I say understand me, I mean agree with me. This is like this with the rest of the world/people. Today I pay homage to my 5% of people who truly understand me, they may not agree with me a 100% of the time, but just the fact the get me is good enough for me. Not in a any particular order are the people I love more then mp3 players and I just want to take the time to thank them for being a huge part of my life, more so then they may ever comprehend:

BP ~ DT ~ AW ~ GR ~ SS ~ JJ ~ RD ~ SW ~ BS ~ LS ~ BB ~ WN ~ KM ~ CM ~ DM ~ MM ~ BM (a diffrent one) ~ CH!!!! Thank you all for making a coarse, frigid, abrasive world/people a soft, warm, welcoming couch to hold me in!!!! Love you all

I needed a moment to express my appreciation for my 5%. I hope all of you have those 5% people in your life as well. Without them it seems pretty much meaningless!!!


Have a Great Memorial Day!!!

FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS EAT SCRAPPLE!!

Walking amongst the frozen food I accidentally ran into frozen Scrapple. More accessible for your family’s consumption. Now you don’t have to go to a greasy spoon diner to cure your hankering for this death meat. Let me just say I love meat. I do it’s true I love meat so much I eat my steak rare. Blood purple!! Barely cooked. I am not a prude when it comes to meat, but when I first sampled scrapple sometime ago, I almost smashed my face against a hot blazing griddle to melt the pain away from my tongue.



If you hate your life and you want to die please try Scrapple suicide. You will die from the taste alone!!!


Ingredients:
1 lb. pork liver
2 each Pig's feet
1/2 lb. pork heart
1 1/2 lbs. boneless pork scraps
2 1/2 qts. water
1/4 tsp. ground sage
1/8 tsp. ground allspice (optional)
Salt & pepper to taste
3 c. buckwheat flour
3 c. cornmeal
Directions:
Place liver, heart & scraps in deep kettle. Cover with water. Boil until very tender. Drain meat, reserve. Chill broth and remove fat from surface. Trim meat and grind fine. Return broth and ground meat to kettle; add seasonings. Bring to boil. Combine buckwheat flour and cornmeal. Trickle mixture slowly into boiling broth, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Lower heat and cook, stirring very frequently, for about 1 hour, or till mix is very thick and comes off the sides of the kettle. Rinse small bread pans or molds with cold water. Pour hot scrapple into them. Cool. When cold, cut into slices and fry in shortening until crisp and brown on both sides.
Nutritional/Serving Info:
12 to 16 servings.

p.s. This is an actual recipe that I found online!! There were many more concoctions available, but this one seemed like the king scrapple recipe of all!!!

Two Things I Love ~ MP3 Players and DayGlo Abortions "Feed Us Fetus"

Ok so they say you shouldn’t love material objects, but those who say that also say a lot of things so forget them. I am deeply in love with MP3 players!! All kinds sizes, shapes, and forms. I own several different brands and love them all for different reasons. I am not here to pick them apart or scrutinize any particular one. I am here in celebration of the Technology. Ohhhhhhhhhh I love it!!! If you love music, I MEAN LOVE MUSIC, if you own 50 CDs and are stuck in one genre you might not get the extent of my enthusiasm. MP3 players are a music lover’s wet dream!! A sticky gooey harmonious climax stuck to your thigh with everything you love. That’s right you will make right in your pants. Dance it off!!! Don’t be a wimp and don’t let it settle. The concrete inhered crust may prohibit you to move with grace. Moving on, I have over 700 CDs and a 60GB MP3 Player this all fit snugly leaving me with 17GB of room left!!!! I have over 10,400 songs which is like 28 days 24/7 straight of music!!!!!!! See what I mean!! Beautiful!!! Ok here is what I mean when I say people with 50 cds look at me with a tilted head like a dog who heard a whistle and ask “Why would you need all that music, it’s not like you can listen to it all?!” this statement or any statement like this is always followed by an annoying self satisfying snicker like they made the best point in their entire life span. To them I say “Listen dumb ass you have 50 cds at home why don’t you toss them because you can't listen to them all at one time?” an MP3 gives me better access to my music then my living room wall. I can click here and there to pull up any band, any genre, any song, in the matter of seconds!! This little thing is a lot smaller then my 700 cds. Yeahhh it’s true that question gets to me This is why I am saying you really have to love music. Three or more Cheers to MP3 players!! I thank you for making me smile all day long. I wake with you, fall a sleep to you, drive with you, and work with you!!! Ohhh I am in love I tell you!! Had enough ok one more love, a quick love.

In high school my best friend Brett introduced me to a Canadian Punk band called “Dayglo Abortions” he made me a crappy copy on a nasty generic Memorex tape. The recording was so bad I would have to put the volume up to 11 to even hear a whisper. I didn’t care, I listened to that tap constantly. I actually recently found that tape like a month ago. Loosing it and unfortunately forgetting about it. From time to time I would always humm my favorite song “I killed mommy” and smile at the memory of us listening to it. I am here to say I found a copy of the CD on half.com for 8 bucks!!!!!!!!!! “Feed Us Fetus” is their debut and best CD by them. The CD I believe was re-released in 98 after a bunch of lawsuits and crap or something like that. I didn’t care I was to excited to buy it then to read on. This is their only good CD!! After this CD they turned to some kind of lame metal that’s not even tolerable. “Feed Us Fetus" rules!!
This is a pivotal moment in my blog career!! I have never posted another persons poems or band lyrics on my blog before. In celebration of my find I leave you with this…

*ENJOY*

"I Killed Mommy" By DayGlo Abortions

I couldn't stand their attitude
for another day
They were trying to synchronize me
so I blew them away

My daddy was a bitch
he screwed around with my dog and cat
My mommy satisfied her thirst
with a bag of urine

I kinda liked my sisters friends
Keep em fresh in the fridge
Murdered the bitch with a baseball bat
She was only five wadda ya think of that

I knocked her down the basement stairs
Then I burned off all her hair
Mutilated her virgin body
My mommy caught me and she tried to stop me

I killed mommy with my automatic
I killed mommy with my automatic
I killed mommy with my automatic
I killed mommy with my automatic Whooo Ohhh Ohhh

A weekend’s observation (spoilers which leads me to Fanny-Packs)

Give a person a Hyundai with a spoiler and they drive like an asshole.

(Put a spoiler on ANY low rent ride and they end up driving like an asshole.)

(Actually this may apply to any car with a spoiler.)

I try to tell myself it's not the spoilers fault it's the person with the spoiler. Spoilers don't kill stupid people...
Stupid people kill stupid people.

I say when you purchase a spoiler to put on your low rent ride you should receive, free of charge a day glo, super neon fanny-pack!!! Just to show how lame you really are.


Warning!!!!! if you happened to buy a car that came equipped with a spoiler you have less of a chance of driving like an asshole, this scenario pertains to people who go and purchase them separately.

The fanny pack is lame no matter how it was acquired. Bought, stolen, given, if worn you should be shot on sight.

Have a good day.


Good side project band names.

Kill Mommy Spoiler and the fanny-pack aggressions
Spoiler fanny-pack homicide
Spoiler -vs- fanny-pack
D.J. Spoiler and the fanny-pack brigade
Spoiler-o and Fanny-pack-a
The how dare you wear that fanny-pack around me, I am gonna bash you face in with a spoiler.

I might be...

...the only person who doesn’t care/have interest in seeing the new Star Wars movie coming out!!! Then again I wasn't excited for any of the new ones.




P.I.S.S. Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy “The Movie” was terrible, especially if you had contact with the book. How or why they took an amazingly sarcastic, witty, philosophical, funny ass book and turn it into a love story and make everything better at the end like an after school special is beyond me. All was lost and missed with that movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!