Do I speak in tongues?
Do I speak in riddle?
Am I that hard to understand?
Do I not make sense?
Have you ever had anyone look at you and say “Wow, I have no idea what you are talking about?” Genuinely, not like they were trying to be funny and make a joke, but in serious situations? It all makes sense in my head. Then again, I guess it would. I get that statement a lot. Today, yesterday, the day before, and I am sure tomorrow. My very own step mother actually stepped back once and said “When you talk I have no Idea what you mean” I know I don’t have perfect speech. Sometimes I mumble, sometimes I slur, and sometimes I stammer and stutter. This isn’t the problem they speak of. They understand the words I use. They don’t understand when I combine and compile them into a sentence. I m not offended by their sideways tilted head. Like seeing me at a different angle will help with the translation. I don’t use big words I think. Actually I think my vocabulary sucks. I talk in laymens terms. I have been referred to as spaceman and out there boy by coworkers. I guess some off my analogies are a bit out there, but not to me. It all makes perfect sense in my head. That is the place it should matter most. To tell you the truth I enjoy the stare that people sometimes give me when I a, talking to them. I never realize I am not making sense to them when they tilt their head like a dog who hears a distant noise. The thing is (for coworkers and my step mom) I bet in their head they are thinking “This guy is a fucking idiot” I really don’t mind that. I find it to be a compliment. It’s true a compliment. Hmmmm an analogy… so you love this band that no one has heard of. In my time I will say deer hoof. I play deer hoof for a person who only listen s to say Kenny g, or they have a limited Idea of music, right so they listen to the deer hoof and say, “This stuff is crap!!!” I laugh and say cool. That is a compliment to my musical taste because he hates it. All this guy listens to is Kenny G, I hate Kenny G so by him hating it to me in my mind confirms deer hoof rules!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I boy a wee one I was accused of an overactive imagination. I was out through many tastes to see if I was dim. I my opinion and please don’t think I am looking for your sympathy or a feeling that you have to contradict what I say, I do think I am dim. I have limited knowledge with most everything that encompasses me. I think my over active imagination is what keeps my brain stirring. Without it I would be a complete idiot I think. Now I am a partial Idiot. So check this out when you are younger and you are the guy who is crazy you are cool. As you get older and you have to blend into the real world with the majority of people being normal, crazy isn’t so cool anymore. The thing is a crazy person doesn’t know he or she is crazy they feel just as normal as the guy or gal sitting next to you. It’s all an illusion. Believe me I don’t think I am crazy at all I feel normal as can be. I think it’s the rest of the world that is crazy. In my space everything I say and do makes complete and utter sense.
Wow this is long. I apologize. I am an awful story teller. This is why I write poems because I can hide behind them better. My mind blinks, fit that format better, then say if i were to try and write a novel...
I have a strobe light in my head.
