Cobwebs and Sawdust

SEASONS BEATINGS!!! DECEMBER 10th!!!

2006-11-10T09:07:00.000-05:00

DECEMBER 10th buy tickets now at

www.ctrollerderby.com

I AM DEATH BOT 1406!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-29T12:51:00.000-04:00

i love being a roller derby ref!!!

www.ctrollerderby.com

2006-08-03T10:16:00.000-04:00

wow was I young!! age 20!!!!!!!!!! old and first apt.

...AND THE CUNT SCREAMS...

2006-04-05T11:06:00.000-04:00

...I AM A CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(but I have great boobs!!)

2006-02-16T09:14:00.000-05:00

This is a picture I drew for my wife when we found out she was pregnet with our first born monkey!!

2006-01-11T16:38:00.000-05:00

first family pic!

2006-01-10T09:33:00.000-05:00

Sebastian and Daddy!!!! Thanx everyone one for the fine wishes!!!!

I't Wanders to Linger Because it Has No Where Else to Go

2005-11-30T11:06:00.000-05:00

From some good god came the sound of rain,
trampolining off the roof
pirouetting in many steps sounding like one.
From sand and grave,
came the union of ambiguous figures,
drifting hurried in the pushing wind.
Who would have thought
the specters brought speculation?
A cornucopia of wonderment,
springing from behind a curtain
“Surprise”
came as another fashion.
Once the wardrobe worn,
it was folded and put aside
to contemplate at a later date.
Shoe strings tied,
To represent the time line,
in which the situation took place.
over eger,
the barter toppled the bottle
in conclusion of scrawled writings.
It shouldn’t be forced before it’s understood.
Can’t label it if it can't be identified.
Inconclusive
Undetermined
the approach rushed,
botched up the translation.
Why prove to anyone
If we can’t prove to ourselves?
The more people you tell,
The more that people believe.
We subscribe to the popularity of an answer,
not the facts behind the question.
It’s easier to join the club,
then it is to start your own.

For Funky Fresh Freddie

2005-11-07T15:53:00.000-05:00

More Marindae Songs for you pal!! Thanx for being our only fan!!!! WE LOVE YOU FOR IT!!!

Jerry Garcia and I Think

http://www.audiostreet.net/artist.aspx?artistid=28614

The saddle wears of it’s self

2005-10-28T06:26:00.000-04:00

I am not alive,
Not living,
Gross existence
In a murdered pot of coffee
What does it matter what I write,
As long as I get it out?
A free mind
Is a clean mind.
Free from waste,
Forest with a clearing.
Able to see the distance
Eyes open and fully aware
I am this
Of what I am now
A being of what
Many perceive me to be.

The window shopper
And the midnight gazer
Telescopic lense invader
Zoooms
And pins me down
Pressed in a pertidish
Examined by idiots
Pinched in negative
It’s a canned reality
Trapped in your likeness
You’re the broken,
The sad individual.
The dealer of robbed souls
The hurtful mentor
With pain control
I know you,
Fundamentalist cheese.
Seeds of the wicked
From the soil brings green
It’s an accomplishment,
A slap on the back
And I high five manicure.
He cleans up rather well.
Goodnight,
Or should I say, good morning...

...It’s an awakening.

im to prove new alive and who is here.

2005-10-08T20:22:00.000-04:00

Crack
The backwards monument
The opposition crept like light
A lantern
With a flood of heat
Core gave everyone strength
But she new what it represents
The desire was strictly condemned
The hand was never played,
How could it be?
Two allowances would never become one when three was in
Horrified when realized
She crept up a leg
Blossoming
Full strength
Lengthen
Penetrated
And devoured custard like it was all she ever ate
Kill
Forthright
The traveler calmly disrobed
And made it known
The home
He was about to dethrone
More horror
Then Harry married Vincent
Caused riptides
The shatter shook New Orleans apart
Her name was Katrina
Lyle lay beneath us
Fixed on movement
Sought after confinement

Me utter Respiratory

I AM NOT DEAD...

2005-09-08T08:37:00.000-04:00

...REALLY I'M NOT. WELL NOT YET ANYWAY...

Medicine Head and Temporary Illusions Prevail

2005-08-15T10:08:00.000-04:00

Mercy red,
with her protective hand,
said to stay clear of the liver.
The liver,
damn liver.
Spine tingly ecstasy,
dropped a cannonball in the turret.
Mesmerizing like Kevlar,
i’m stronger then Tupperware.
Light me a blaze,
head light dazed.
Eyes dilated,
I look afraid.
Lost in a mission,
objective not completed.
Now where did I put my keys?
Miss placed my brain cells,
dead in tiny body bags.
Packed away underground,
camping with the Calvary.
The bugs that invade my skin,
I can feel them now.
Caressing,
coursing while biting,
sticking,
itching while taking,
holes burrowed,
dug pierced and pressed.
I’m their food silo,
a cookie jar source.
This is black magic,
I am above now.
The hollow bellow of owls,
echoing in reverb.
sounds tinny,
as your about to fade.
Loud adjusted magnitudes of volume,
promise to pour me another drink.
I am length wise,
flat beneath the sink.
The mirror was a bad idea.
Stoned like medusa,
kept in stasis.
Shocked petrified,
sticky paralysis.
I shouldn’t have looked,
made eye contact with myself.
I didn’t like what I saw,
and neither did I.
Both ashamed.
we turned away.
Dizzy,
inflicted,
gravity pulled me close,
and told me a secret…

sleep tight

Green Gobs of Family Matter Tortured by All Honest Saint Gertrude

2005-08-12T08:59:00.000-04:00

Sometime the sport has to stop,
the game needs to end.
Fog lamps and cylinders of white fluff,
my metalic plush stuffed animal.
Some robots have heart,
at least a brash imitation of one.
Covered guns in a clear all tarp,
draped like studio shades.
We met on the floor,
on green granite tile,
stylized in the pattern “Crown of Thrones”
Two stitch three in a loop,
the bird bath caved from over weight.
To many cooks in the kitchen,
to many hands in the pot.
Horace came after the pilot
politely told the passengers “Were about to crash”
“Gangbusters” read the headlines,
conspiracy theories galore.
I am afraid of the media,
the subtle guidelines in which to abide by.
worse then them,
are the zealots who believe.
Who is kissing who,
in Rodney Tops shop?
Holding hands in syncopated step.
This isn’t news.
Forget the front man,
suck the litigious hand.
Easy to copy,
soon enough to follow.
The dollar bill drips blood,
and snorts cocaine for fun.
It’s not a habit.
Never was an addiction.
Momentary laps of reason,
truth is better then fiction.

Musical Marinade in Tear Duct Four

2005-08-03T10:07:00.000-04:00

Two guys,
one mind,
jamming
In half fast food indulgence.
Split down the center,
breaking grease,
stress release
in August's heat.
It beats us dry,
drips us
drains us;
no shadow where we stand,
only a puddle where the sweat lands.
This represents where we once were,
our chalk line on the floor.
A 6 pack hydrates,
continues us on,
Head strong.
Not knowing where we’re going,
but we know we’re headed somewhere.
It doesn’t matter,
we don’t care.
We have our frenzy,
this stream of consciousness.
The beat brings us closer,
as the strum glides us along.
Two separate screams,
is the essence of fun.
Mix them together
into the sound of one.

Marinaded
Musical
Unadulterated
PERFECT.

Tomorrow Will Never Come

2005-07-22T11:52:00.000-04:00

The birthday that was supposed to be never will.
Gone before u came,
left before light caught your eye.
It’s empty,
like a day without minutes.
Time
without fleeting.
A stand still.
Holding for nothing
when everything’s happened.
To much for so little,
emotions,
tears
caravans of wonder,
truck loads of not understanding.
Tomorrow will never come
and that is hard to grasp.
To blunt,
sharp cuts,
shouldn’t be holding on,
but there is no way of letting go.

COME ON... TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!

2005-07-15T09:32:00.000-04:00

Please visit the sounds of Thee Musical Marinades. I know you all have opinions and we would love to hear what you think of our brand Tuneage!! Be honest you think we suck a dead monkey from the jungles of Wally Wally’s underpants. We are strong! We can take it!! If you love it send us Money!!!! Yeah send us lots of money!! No Money? Well your humble adoring praise will just have to do!!!

Click here because you really wanna win $20,000!!! --------> http://www.audiostreet.net/theemusicalmarinades

*The chances of winning are 0.00000 we have no money and actually we have no game. Spike Lee told us so*

You Look at Me Beacuse You Can't look at Yourself

2005-07-11T09:13:00.000-04:00

Paranoia sets in and drinks a beer,
produces a buzz,
enough to kill sobriety.
That’s all it takes is one,
to set the coaster looping.
Spinning in and out,
up and down,
through worm holes,
and tunnels of hidden moles.
Drunkard, like the man on the comedy quiz,
add it quick before it drifts away.
into something else.
Another space,
creased back in a book of bargains.
The penny saver only provokes me to spend.
Glycerin and tongue spray keep things clean.
Drip dry like salad dressing
Hungry and crisp,
like a hundred dollar bill.
Spend me quick,
before I too dissolve.
Needles to say,
more will come.
But not in the flow,
with supported income.
Friends are enemies,
they know to much already.
Cut ties,
they enjoy your suffering.
This brings me to reality,
shown contraband,
of your own miserable existence.
We all stay tuned to watch.
I am hopeless in the wallowing,
The style of the enemy,
we emerge from the shallow puddle of vanity.

The lost, now found 11th commandment...

2005-07-08T09:06:00.000-04:00

...Ye shall not screw thy neighbors bitch!

www.whns.com/Global/story.asp?s=3456745

Hahahahah I love they call it "Rape" of course it's rape!! When is the last time a dog consented to a human having sex with it!!!!!!?????

The Spindle Weaves Chaos When Ignorance Bliss

2005-07-06T08:40:00.000-04:00

Hairpin equivalent to acupuncture,
need to relieve a bit of pressure.
Tension in the cooker,
the whistles blowing,
and the lids about to blow.
Take control of the lion,
stack him on a pedestal.
Kept like a trinket,
in mothers armoire.
No don’t touch it!!!
The value in uncanny.
Invaluable,
is possible.
If any,
that’s what I say.
Diverse criticism,
from a flagellant source.
Wait,
I smell bacon in the one.
Do you have to talk so loud?
I mean,
stand so close.
I’m frustrated because my focus is fucked.
Dismantled uncalibrated,
nothings in tune or time.
I need that mallet,
to smash it apart,
and start anew.
Fresh in the glossy
the produce section not the deli
Waxed apples
Ginger pairs
Prunes so sheen
you can see yourself in them.
I made it a date,
So vain
and called it a night.
Curled back autumn hair
clicked in barrette
fasten in place
There,
and no where else.

A foot note from BM,
ok so what did I say about not posting poems? Yeah well with out them I feel i don't have much else to say.
I am such a rebel!!!!!

My Coffee Motto

2005-06-30T08:45:00.000-04:00

We don't talk about the coffee.
We only drink the coffee.
Whether it's good or bad,
is no matter.
We drink it
for better or worse.

Early am thought while I viddy on the puter screen

2005-06-25T03:17:00.000-04:00

Something about watching music videos on a small screen that really brings to light how they all try to hard.

Close enough we will call it a day.

Music was much more fun when it wasn’t a TV show…

…a commercial.

Then again maybe that’s me being bitter because I’m not them and I don’t look as pretty?

There I go playing 2nd guessing.

BIG Thanx and my zero teeth Tteory

2005-06-23T11:09:00.000-04:00

Thanks everyone!! You are all great to me!! I appreciate your confidence very much!! I couldn't do it by myself because I am to miserable to me! Now the difficult part is to choose which poems to send out. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, not really sure. I just have to pick 5 and not even think about.

On a random note I feel people who have no teeth are not very excepting of difference. I think they should be, seeing they have "NO" Teeth. Once they pop some dentures in they may learn to become tolerable of diversity.

End of transmission..........................BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BIG OL’ BLOG CHANGE!! Pipe Dreams and Bad Self-Esteem

2005-06-21T12:11:00.000-04:00

Inspired by some friends I decided to go for the gusto and try to get published. Some new friends have given me the confidence to give it a shot. Pipe Dream? Yes it’s true, but I will never know until I try.

Why the missing poetry on my blog? Well looking through submission policies I noticed that they ask to send non-published material. They consider on-line publications (Blog) to be published work. Soooo in order to try and follow guidelines I removed the poems to be legit. “To legit, to legit to quit!!” “go hammer go hammer!” ok that was weird. I don’t feel well now. Right oh sooooooooooo on with my dream.

I will keep updates on my blog of my successes and failures. I am trying to keep myself positive; this is a hard thing for me to do. I have an awful self-esteem!! I tell myself “Why bother trying to publish anything” “Everyone is a writer” “Your work is nothing special. It’s like everyone else’s” “Don’t Bother” these are the voices I hear in my unmedicated head!!! I beat myself up continually. I am my own worst critic but myself wants me dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must conquer my self-esteem issue. Sure rejection letters won’t help but fuck it; at least I gave it a go!!

Stay tuned I will be here still even though my poetry mat not. Thanx everyone!!!

What Fits in the Hollow of a Guitar? (Based on an actual event)

2005-06-17T09:52:00.000-04:00

1. 1 Mary Kay eyeliner, still in box, (Brown)
2. 3/4 of a crayon (apricot)
3. 1 Orange barrette with green letters the shriek "EEK!!!"
4. 1/4 of a crayon (white)
5. A 1" gumball karate fighting man fashioned with a headband
6. A Red Monkey from the Milton Bradley game "Barrel of Monkey's"

These things fit in the a hollow of a guitar!!!

Have a great Weekend!!!!

Me and my Man!!!

2005-06-14T09:43:00.000-04:00

Look!

Connor and I tagged along with Mommy while she was on assignment for the paper she writes for. She had to visit a dairy farm, so Connor and I went along. We had a great time feeding and petting the cows and calves. They liked Connor a lot and slobbered all over his hands. He would just smile and say “Oh no” and grab another handful of hay to serve to the cows.

We love going on assignment with Mommy!!

Memorial Day PICK-nic!!!!!

2005-06-01T09:22:00.000-04:00

That's my boy!!!

Pick-nic get it hahahha ok I apologize for being so puny!!! Please forgive me

The Adventures of Cake-boy and the Mucus Crusted Nostril

picture taken by www.RDPphotography.com

Love and Thanks to my 5%

2005-05-26T12:20:00.000-04:00

95 % of the world believes some sort of deity/higher power. This leaves me with 5% of people who understand me. When I say understand me, I mean agree with me. This is like this with the rest of the world/people. Today I pay homage to my 5% of people who truly understand me, they may not agree with me a 100% of the time, but just the fact the get me is good enough for me. Not in a any particular order are the people I love more then mp3 players and I just want to take the time to thank them for being a huge part of my life, more so then they may ever comprehend:

BP ~ DT ~ AW ~ GR ~ SS ~ JJ ~ RD ~ SW ~ BS ~ LS ~ BB ~ WN ~ KM ~ CM ~ DM ~ MM ~ BM (a diffrent one) ~ CH!!!! Thank you all for making a coarse, frigid, abrasive world/people a soft, warm, welcoming couch to hold me in!!!! Love you all

I needed a moment to express my appreciation for my 5%. I hope all of you have those 5% people in your life as well. Without them it seems pretty much meaningless!!!

Have a Great Memorial Day!!!

FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS EAT SCRAPPLE!!

2005-05-25T08:28:00.000-04:00

Walking amongst the frozen food I accidentally ran into frozen Scrapple. More accessible for your family’s consumption. Now you don’t have to go to a greasy spoon diner to cure your hankering for this death meat. Let me just say I love meat. I do it’s true I love meat so much I eat my steak rare. Blood purple!! Barely cooked. I am not a prude when it comes to meat, but when I first sampled scrapple sometime ago, I almost smashed my face against a hot blazing griddle to melt the pain away from my tongue.

If you hate your life and you want to die please try Scrapple suicide. You will die from the taste alone!!!

Ingredients:
1 lb. pork liver
2 each Pig's feet
1/2 lb. pork heart
1 1/2 lbs. boneless pork scraps
2 1/2 qts. water
1/4 tsp. ground sage
1/8 tsp. ground allspice (optional)
Salt & pepper to taste
3 c. buckwheat flour
3 c. cornmeal
Directions:
Place liver, heart & scraps in deep kettle. Cover with water. Boil until very tender. Drain meat, reserve. Chill broth and remove fat from surface. Trim meat and grind fine. Return broth and ground meat to kettle; add seasonings. Bring to boil. Combine buckwheat flour and cornmeal. Trickle mixture slowly into boiling broth, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Lower heat and cook, stirring very frequently, for about 1 hour, or till mix is very thick and comes off the sides of the kettle. Rinse small bread pans or molds with cold water. Pour hot scrapple into them. Cool. When cold, cut into slices and fry in shortening until crisp and brown on both sides.
Nutritional/Serving Info:
12 to 16 servings.

p.s. This is an actual recipe that I found online!! There were many more concoctions available, but this one seemed like the king scrapple recipe of all!!!

Two Things I Love ~ MP3 Players and DayGlo Abortions "Feed Us Fetus"

2005-05-19T09:36:00.000-04:00

Ok so they say you shouldn’t love material objects, but those who say that also say a lot of things so forget them. I am deeply in love with MP3 players!! All kinds sizes, shapes, and forms. I own several different brands and love them all for different reasons. I am not here to pick them apart or scrutinize any particular one. I am here in celebration of the Technology. Ohhhhhhhhhh I love it!!! If you love music, I MEAN LOVE MUSIC, if you own 50 CDs and are stuck in one genre you might not get the extent of my enthusiasm. MP3 players are a music lover’s wet dream!! A sticky gooey harmonious climax stuck to your thigh with everything you love. That’s right you will make right in your pants. Dance it off!!! Don’t be a wimp and don’t let it settle. The concrete inhered crust may prohibit you to move with grace. Moving on, I have over 700 CDs and a 60GB MP3 Player this all fit snugly leaving me with 17GB of room left!!!! I have over 10,400 songs which is like 28 days 24/7 straight of music!!!!!!! See what I mean!! Beautiful!!! Ok here is what I mean when I say people with 50 cds look at me with a tilted head like a dog who heard a whistle and ask “Why would you need all that music, it’s not like you can listen to it all?!” this statement or any statement like this is always followed by an annoying self satisfying snicker like they made the best point in their entire life span. To them I say “Listen dumb ass you have 50 cds at home why don’t you toss them because you can't listen to them all at one time?” an MP3 gives me better access to my music then my living room wall. I can click here and there to pull up any band, any genre, any song, in the matter of seconds!! This little thing is a lot smaller then my 700 cds. Yeahhh it’s true that question gets to me This is why I am saying you really have to love music. Three or more Cheers to MP3 players!! I thank you for making me smile all day long. I wake with you, fall a sleep to you, drive with you, and work with you!!! Ohhh I am in love I tell you!! Had enough ok one more love, a quick love.

In high school my best friend Brett introduced me to a Canadian Punk band called “Dayglo Abortions” he made me a crappy copy on a nasty generic Memorex tape. The recording was so bad I would have to put the volume up to 11 to even hear a whisper. I didn’t care, I listened to that tap constantly. I actually recently found that tape like a month ago. Loosing it and unfortunately forgetting about it. From time to time I would always humm my favorite song “I killed mommy” and smile at the memory of us listening to it. I am here to say I found a copy of the CD on half.com for 8 bucks!!!!!!!!!! “Feed Us Fetus” is their debut and best CD by them. The CD I believe was re-released in 98 after a bunch of lawsuits and crap or something like that. I didn’t care I was to excited to buy it then to read on. This is their only good CD!! After this CD they turned to some kind of lame metal that’s not even tolerable. “Feed Us Fetus" rules!!
This is a pivotal moment in my blog career!! I have never posted another persons poems or band lyrics on my blog before. In celebration of my find I leave you with this…

*ENJOY*

"I Killed Mommy" By DayGlo Abortions

I couldn't stand their attitude
for another day
They were trying to synchronize me
so I blew them away

My daddy was a bitch
he screwed around with my dog and cat
My mommy satisfied her thirst
with a bag of urine

I kinda liked my sisters friends
Keep em fresh in the fridge
Murdered the bitch with a baseball bat
She was only five wadda ya think of that

I knocked her down the basement stairs
Then I burned off all her hair
Mutilated her virgin body
My mommy caught me and she tried to stop me

I killed mommy with my automatic
I killed mommy with my automatic
I killed mommy with my automatic
I killed mommy with my automatic Whooo Ohhh Ohhh

A weekend’s observation (spoilers which leads me to Fanny-Packs)

2005-05-16T09:09:00.000-04:00

Give a person a Hyundai with a spoiler and they drive like an asshole.

(Put a spoiler on ANY low rent ride and they end up driving like an asshole.)

(Actually this may apply to any car with a spoiler.)

I try to tell myself it's not the spoilers fault it's the person with the spoiler. Spoilers don't kill stupid people...
Stupid people kill stupid people.

I say when you purchase a spoiler to put on your low rent ride you should receive, free of charge a day glo, super neon fanny-pack!!! Just to show how lame you really are.

Warning!!!!! if you happened to buy a car that came equipped with a spoiler you have less of a chance of driving like an asshole, this scenario pertains to people who go and purchase them separately.

The fanny pack is lame no matter how it was acquired. Bought, stolen, given, if worn you should be shot on sight.

Have a good day.

Good side project band names.

Kill Mommy Spoiler and the fanny-pack aggressions
Spoiler fanny-pack homicide
Spoiler -vs- fanny-pack
D.J. Spoiler and the fanny-pack brigade
Spoiler-o and Fanny-pack-a
The how dare you wear that fanny-pack around me, I am gonna bash you face in with a spoiler.

I might be...

2005-05-09T08:25:00.000-04:00

...the only person who doesn’t care/have interest in seeing the new Star Wars movie coming out!!! Then again I wasn't excited for any of the new ones.

P.I.S.S. Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy “The Movie” was terrible, especially if you had contact with the book. How or why they took an amazingly sarcastic, witty, philosophical, funny ass book and turn it into a love story and make everything better at the end like an after school special is beyond me. All was lost and missed with that movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A week and a half in one day!

2005-04-29T09:12:00.000-04:00

Wow has it really been that long since I posted something on here!?!?! I blame the fine spring air for my absence!!! It would be much easier if My real journal was hooked up to blog. It would update all the time. Of course all would be bored to read my everyday stuff. I just filter and put the stuff on here that may hold interest to my blog. I assure you my filtering system saves all of you who frequent my blog a brain rupture. Your mind would have a melt down of complete boredom and you would shudder in an epileptic fit.

Anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fine spring air has made me lazy and not wanting to blog. Man I love great weather!!! Here is my good weather dance:

“Cha cha cha!!!!”

Hope you are all well!!! see you next winter!!! nahhhh I will try to stop by sooner then that!!!

again I say,

"Cha cha cha" (Fine air spring dance)

The Brilliance of Melt-Banana!

2005-04-19T09:02:00.000-04:00

Every so often you read a book, watch a movie, listen to a band that causes tingles to chill down your spine. This was the case last evening when I got the chance to experience Melt-Banana live. HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an amazing ear piercing, mouth gapping, eye gazing event!! Their speed and accuracy was impeccable, from rapid fire drums to a guitar that bleeds your emotions like a slit throat deer. I was hanging upside down draining in awe last night, excited by the fact that I was 2 inches form the bass player who stood 4'11" and pounded the shit out of a bass that was as tall as her. I was so close I smelt her sweat and shampoo as she snapped her head wildly up and down. They had energy, stamina, strength, style, ideas and brilliant coordination that was displayed perfectly on set.

Thanx DT (I love you) for experiencing it with me!!! I am happy someone did because I start going off to people about how amazing Melt-Banana were and they walk away!! Here in blog world you're a captive audience!!! I have you trapped you until you click free from my gibberish grip that so many people walk away from.

If you do get a chance to see them I advice you do. Even if you don't like the music seeing them perform is a treat of it's own. Sorta like a GWAR show (I am a big GWAR fan) to be sprayed, by fake puss, bile, chunks, maggots, and gallons upon gallons of blood is a wonderfully fun experience. I have been to 3 GWAR shows and you just have to goooo to get red. Ok I digress!! It's the ADD!! Suuuuuuuuuuureee I better get medicated quick!!! I attached Melt-Banana's American tour schedule for your perusing. If you do see them, let me know!! I want to hear how it affected you!!!

p.i.s.s. if you are intrested about their sounds, e-mail me and I will gladly send you an MP3

19-Apr New York, NY Eisner and Lubin Auditorium, NYU Kimmel Center c
20-Apr New York, NY Knitting Factory c
21-Apr Cambridge, MA Middle East Downstairs c
22-Apr Providence, RI Living Room c
23-Apr Northampton, MA Iron Horse c
24-Apr Ithaca, NY Noyse Community Center c
25-Apr Rochester, NY Bug Jar c
26-Apr Pittsburgh, PA Brew House c
27-Apr Cleveland, OH Grog Shop c
28-Apr Columbus, OH Little Brother's c
29-Apr Newport, KY Southgate House c
30-Apr Louisville, KY Headliners Music Hall c
2-May Detroit, MI Magic Stick c
3-May Lansing, MI Mac's Bar c
4-May Bloomington, IN Rhino's c
5-May Chicago, IL Abbey Pub c
6-May Madison, WI Club 770 - Union South c
7-May Minneapolis, MN 7th Street Entry c
8-May Rapid City, SD Quality Inn c
10-May Bozeman, MT Zebra cocktail lounge c
11-May Missoula, MT Area 5 c
12-May Seattle, WA Neumos Crystal Ball Reading Room c
13-May Olympia, WA China clipper c
14-May Portland, OR Dante's c
15-May Eugene, OR Wow Hall c
17-May San Francisco, CA The Independent c
18-May tba
19-May Pomona, CA Glass House c
20-May West Hollywood, CA Troubadour c
21-May San Diego, CA Casbah c
22-May Mesa, AZS Hollywood Alley c
23-May tba
24-May Salt Lake City, UT Kilby Court c
25-May Denver, CO Larimer Lounge c
27-May Denton, TX Hailey's c
28-May Austin, TX Emo's - Austin c
30-May Houston, TX Mary Jane's Fat Cat c
31-May New Orleans, LA House of Blues New Orleans c
1-Jun Tallahassee, FL Beta Bar c
2-Jun Tampa, FL Orpheum c
3-Jun Orlando, FL Will's pub c
5-Jun Gainsville, FL Common Grounds c
6-Jun Atlanta, GA Variety Playhouse c
8-Jun Knoxville, TN Pilot Light c
9-Jun Raleigh, NC Kings Barcade c
10-Jun Richmond, VA Alley Katz c
11-Jun Korfolk, VA The Blue Plate c

ohhhh how I love melt-banana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-14T12:58:00.000-04:00

Biography
Japanese noise rock band Melt Banana found more success in the U.S. and the U.K. than in their own country, gaining a small but dedicated fan base among American and European punk rock fans. Although their music sounds noticeably different from any sort of traditional punk, it contains some punk elements: shrieking vocals, overdriven guitars, and one-and-a-half minute songs. Melt Banana's unique style, however, comes as a result of the distinctly piercing vocals of lead singer Yasuko O. , as well as the frenzied, effect-charged playing of guitarist Agata . Searing, intense, and mind-blowingly fast are perhaps the first adjectives that come to mind when listening to Melt Banana's music. Try to imagine an even more energetic incarnation of the Boredoms . Agata and O. joined bassist Rika in 1992, and in 1994 signed with British label Chocolate Monk. Their one release on that label, titled Cactuses Come in Flocks , was made available at first only on cassette tape. They later signed to Skin Graft and released Speak, Squeak, Creak in 1994, followed by Scratch or Stitch in 1995. Scratch or Stitch was recorded and mixed by Chicago avant-garde masters Steve Albini and Jim O'Rourke , and showcases some of Melt Banana's best work. The band released Charlie in 1998, as well as a live album on John Zorn 's label Tzadik in that same year. Teen Shiny followed in fall 2000. For many, the appeal of Melt Banana is not entirely limited to their music. Yasuko O. 's lyrics and song titles reflect a Japanese pop culture that is unfamiliar, yet attractive to many non-Japanese fans. Melt Banana capitalized on this phenomenon heavily, in their merchandising as well as on their albums. However, it is the band's incredible intensity and furious sound that has gained them the most recognition.

Imagine

Deerhoof
Frothy Shakes
Guitar wolf

Merging together!!!!
Such brilliance in melt-banana!!!

Lookie Here!! They are going to be in CT on the 18th of April!!!!
Monday, April 18th Melt-Banana An Albatross Ampere They and The Children $10, 6pm Wallingford American Legion 190 Ward Street (Wallingford, CT)

It seems to me I can only get the pretty ones published

2005-04-13T09:04:00.000-04:00

So my wife writes for our local newspaper and she has been asking me to submit one of my poems. I submitted the "Bring on Spring" poem that I posted on my blog Thursday marsh 31st. Believe it or not I have been published (diffrent publication then the newspaper) and was paid for several of poems in the past, but only the pretty ones. People only seem to like/want the Hallmark card poems. The uplifting positive spin that are written with easy adjectives and simplistic perspective. I find happiness in depression and confusion , I know there are more people out there like me. Ohh well just wanted to share my little bit of pressed print. Sorry for the crap scan.

Cheers!!

When Rebekah!!!!!!!!!!!!! said "Nap Club"

2005-04-12T15:07:00.000-04:00

A great book I dedicate to the one and only Rebekah!!!!!!!!!!!!! This needs to be the nap club official manual!!!!

AND THE WINNER IS...

2005-04-11T11:57:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to BOU!!! She might have fumbled with the answer but BEANS was her first guess!! That is good enough for BM!!!! Well done to all!! Great suggestions from everyone. Tatter Tots to let you know is the second place answer!!! So everyone give props to the Weenie queen BOU!!!! Nice work!!!!

A split second ode to Bookend and Corn Dogs!!

2005-04-05T08:48:00.000-04:00

Crispy, crunchy, meaty, greasy, oily, slimy, slippery, tasty, corny, lovely, crumbly, happy, smiley, wonderfully, gratefully, hearty, thankfully, Monday was great because of you two.

Now for some interactive “Survey Says” fun for all of my fabulous blog friends!!!!!

What side dish is best with corn dogs?

Winner of the number 1 answer gets a trophy on blog-o-sphere!!!!!!!!

My guess was “Bananas” yes bananas!!! your fellow blogger BM is an idiot!! This is true and should not come as a surprise to you. Needles to say, BM didn’t win the trophy. DT guessed the winning side dish which accompanied our corndogs. He can’t play because he already won!! Good luck and I love you all!! I wish to kiss each one of you like Richard Dawson used to do. Then hand out Tootsie Roll pops. Such sweet love!! Happy guessing!!!

BM offers a random “Who gives a fuck” Moment

2005-04-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

As I get older and my hair grows thin I notice how awkward my hair looks on my balding head. Almost as it doesn’t belong, like a weave, plug, GLH Formula 9 spray, or a comb over would. I am not going to try to prolong the inevitable with gels, creams, shampoo, massagers, Didi 7 that proclaim they promote hair growth. (ok maybe not didi 7, but it would remove any unwanted port wine stains) That is not my style. I am in transition and I am going to accept my fate. That is why last night I shaved my shit. No to the skin, the core of my design. Just a really close stubble for my skull to shine.

This random “Who gives a fuck” moment was brought to you by Wahl shavers. Clipping them down for a long long time! (I gots to get me a job in advertising)

Why you can’t rehabilitate a pedophile

2005-04-01T09:24:00.000-05:00

Close your eyes and try imagining someone trying to rehabilitate you into liking little boys. Will you like little boys with enough treatment?

NO, I doubt it.

This is not your preference.
A pedophile can’t be made to change his fancy from little boys to grown women or men.
As I can not be rehabilitated to fancy men.

Sure there are exceptions to the rule, but why are people so goddamn surprised when a pedophile becomes a 2nd or 3rd offender?!?!? This is what they have the hots for. I don’t think you can change what people are sexually attracted to.

Inspired by the movie Eulogy and sex

2005-03-31T14:12:00.000-05:00

The title sequence just played over and over and over and over and over until we finally hit play.

Have you seen me?!?!?!?

2005-03-30T15:32:00.000-05:00

Please see below...

Thee Musical Marinades present an epic tale (29 seconds) of woe and heartbreak. Come join us at the wake.

2005-03-30T15:07:00.000-05:00

It’s a sad sad world when someone abducts your perfectly full Haffenreffer!! This song is about just that. The woes of stolen malt liquor.

Bou, I tip this 4D for you!!!!!

BM: Screams and guitar
DT: Drums

This is a must play game!!!

2005-03-30T12:39:00.000-05:00

Ohhhh boy I’m addicted!!! I can’t stop burning the lives out of pedestrians and torching cars to explosions!!!!!!!!!!! Scream human scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Burn for me!!!!!!!!!! Become Crispy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so much fun!!!! Gas Trucks explode Phenomenally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

www.ebaumsworld.com/antcity.html

The Day Death Moved Next Door

2005-03-29T10:41:00.000-05:00

Ok check this weirdness out…

The death toll rises in my neighborhood
so close you can connect the dots.
Neighbor to neighbor,
our kind drop like flies,
in a line, single file.

In a month’s time…

Death one: Neighbor directly behind me loses her brother of 40 something. Cause of death, undisclosed.

Death Two: The neighbor directly right of me dies from old age at 85. I find out about her death while signing cremation papers for Zoë during our time of loss. The Funeral Home guy told me that our neighbor died because he did her funeral!!?? Weird right??!!

Death Three: Zoë died form some crazy random brain/head underdevelopment thing. I have no brain how come I survived?!?!?!

Death Four: The nighbor directly left of me son dies at 17!!!! Cardiac arrest!!! I find this out arriving home from Boston on Saturday when the neighbor to the right of me told me. We both joked that our town was destined for death.

4 deaths, 4 weeks, 1 month. What an average. Who dies next?
If death comes knocking and asks to borrow my weed whacker I am going to tell him no and see if he has any job openings!

One (of many) reasons why BM was banned from spoken word night!

2005-03-24T14:18:00.000-05:00

User Friendly BM Here (Like you didn’t know)

Just wanted to say have a great weekend and or Holiday. What ever your pleasure, enjoy it to the fullest!! I am off for a spell but will return Monday with more hijinx.

watch for my monkey drowning in quicksand chlidren story series in fine retail stores near you!

Cheers

BM and Son at bath time!!!!

2005-03-22T18:19:00.000-05:00

What is BM, the necessary movement? Inquiring minds want to know!!

2005-03-22T10:13:00.000-05:00

"BM" are my initials which is also the acronym for a big hairy stinky shit!!! “The Necessary Movement”. All my words are my necessary movements as well as my dumps!! They may not be pretty or smell that great, but ohhhh what a relief it is once they are out!! You are all swimming in my sweet little toilet bowl and I love you all for it!!!! Thanx for taking proverbial dump/plunge with me!!!

got questions?

Feel free to inquire within.

A Slogan I wrote for Jordache Jeans

2005-03-17T12:46:00.000-05:00

"We Love to see your ass in them"

Please send me money and hot tight designer Jeans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think my slogan alone will bring them back like crazzzzzzzzzy 8s

What drugs do you do?/My Green

2005-03-17T10:05:00.000-05:00

Picture taken by GregGGG. R.
Modification by El Bastardo

This picture scares me and i hope it scares you. We should all be scared. I feel ill.

I would be a misanthrope if I didn’t have friends!!!!

2005-03-17T08:44:00.000-05:00

A couple things…

Where is your green!?!?!?

Piss Off!!

You wouldn’t want to know. Ohh you want to know, ok.
Well I went to Mamouns yesterday and I ordered a hot steaming cup of Turkish coffee. Mmmmmm Like espresso but with an inch of grounds on the bottom of every cup. I consumed the liquid and grounds. Swishing the bits in my mouth like a dirty lake. Mmmmm I love a dirty lake, this morning (all who have had Turkish coffee before may relate) I took a crap. That crap was the Incredible Hulk green!! It was wonderful!! My homemade Leprechaun was flushed to the septic with the rest of the crap.

By this time the people who assault me with that stupid question walked away from me. Good choice.

Where is my Green!!!!?!?!? These are the same people with little magnetic ribbons all over their car stating “Save our troops” People who can only define themselves by Labels and colors. “Well you must not be a patriot because you don’t have a magnet saying so” IDIOTS!!! People actually think that weird shit!!!!! Some people can only define themselves by bumper stickers, Name brand specific, tagged labeled items, colors or whatever makes them feel they can ask you crap like “Where is your green?”
ArgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggHHHHH!!!

I have been here at work for 5 minutes and 3 people have asked me this. I don’t belong in public. I need to ne left under a bed. Yeah and also, shut up about green beer. My simple Philosophy about green beer is “If you can dye it green, it’s not real beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Go home and watch your American Idol and shut up!!! Stop with your questions to me!!!!

I would be a misanthrope if I didn’t have friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you offended by this…. GOOD LEARN YOUR LESSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop picking on people who don’t wear green red blue orange on the appropriate day. If you happen to wear green on the appropriate day cool!!!! Leave me out of the club if need be!!!

P.s. Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

2005-03-13T01:09:00.000-05:00

BM is an...

2005-03-12T01:09:00.000-05:00

What High SchoolStereotype Are You?
Thought this was kinda fun!

Plus it had a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy answer so it can’t be all that bad!?!?!?!

Let me know what you get!!! Please!!! Ok I am not gonna beg…ok well maybe this once…PLEASE!!!! Happy Sat day by the way!! Holy crap it's now 1 am and I have to wake up with Connor at 4 am!! (the time he wakes from his 20 minute slumber, boy has insomnia like his Popaganda)Wait I am not sleeping I can’t possibly wake up when I am not even sleeping? Am I sleep typing? Who has coffee!!?? Ohhhh you Insomnia!! How you play tricks on me!! You beat me every time like playing that unreal tournament game!! I always get sniped right through the head!!!

TELL ME WHAT YOUR STEROTYPE IS OR I WILL BUST SOME SERIOUS CAPS, even though I will die before u.

Hot potato!!!

Love,

BM

BLOG IS RUDE!!

2005-03-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

I have spent all day trying to comment on everyones blog and it won't let me!!! Everyone have a great weekend!!!

Thee Musical Marinades official site!!

2005-03-11T11:41:00.000-05:00

http://www.freespaces.com/tupper/

Thanx to Sir DT and his computer prowess. He put together this little thang (still under construction) to display our stuff. Stop on by, we offer free money, free food, free beer, and for the good looking, free hand jobs (condoms not included) Come now and download our wonderful song “Space Monkey” about well, you guessed it, a Monkey in space! How does that grab ya? Why not waste some time and click on the delicious steak!!!!???

*Note the free food, money, and beer are first come first serve, while supplies last. The hand jobs are always available.*

Thanx for you for your patronage!!

Sincerely,
Staff Marinade

Footnote: I am Fred. So when you see “Fred” that means BM. DT gave me this nickname over 10 years ago. Long story of love, garbage, and hand jobs.

Cheeks of Love!

2005-03-10T16:25:00.000-05:00

BM's New Crush

The Musical Marinades do Mormon Songs.

2005-03-10T08:11:00.000-05:00

One day a smart boy named DT had an epiphany. Not a holy man by any means, he told BM of his idea. BM Cried with amusement and said, “DT my friend I could fuck you” This is how it began with our Mormon cover songs. These songs are actual Mormon songs done Marinade style. We actually sat down and listened to the real Mormon song for inspiration. We were NOT inspired so we came up with our own version!! Bring on the “OX CART”

BM: Guitar and Screams
DT: Drums and Keyboard

stay tunned for more!!

P.M.S.
Sorry for the piss poor quality. The MP3 came form a cassette tape. Remember those?

Piss On Your Radio!!!

2005-03-09T11:04:00.000-05:00

Tookie the sandblaster man,
had a dream,
he had a plan.
He wanted to own his own business,
and eat tons of red meat.
Large fat steaks,
steaming and tender.
He wanted Jacuzzis,
and long stretched cars.
Buy things, to show things,
until the things ownd him.

On the grand opening
of “Tookie’s Sandblasters Inc.
Tookie died.
He died in his Jacuzzi with a piece fillet mignon wedged in his throat.
He drowned while he choked.
The funeral home man,
drove him in a large black coach.

The moral of this story is nothing.
Who I am to teach morals?!?
I am a poor SOD who is too lazy and has no ambition to own his own business, but yet I want to be rich. I don’t even play the Lotto for Christ sakes. Talk about no plan!!! I am living on the edge and I am about to break!! God I hate that Fuckin band Lincoln Park!! I wish Chester would choke on a piece of steak and get hit by Tookie’s Motor Coach. Yes that's it!!! That can be the moral of the story...

Don't Listen to Lincoln Park.

Have you heard/seen of that bumper sticker "Kill Your TV"
well I am makining a new bumper Sticker!!! And it says,

Piss On Your Radio!!!!

The Musical Marinades dive head first into a slow waltZZ. Please huff some glue, chow on paste and inject caulk to truly get the fullnessnesssiseszzz

2005-03-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

BM- Ramble babble
DT- Keyboard
Jed- I believe he finally passed out drunker then a drum stick on a tambourine.

For u Funky Fresh Freddie!!! Blaaaatoooouuuwwwwwwwwww!!!

2005-03-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

Chrome Padded Cell

I have a been a Noisecore/Digital hardcore fan for sometime now. I wanted to pay homage to one of my Favorite Noisecore Djs. He is DJ Tron and I love him more then hot sauce!! This is my favorite CD by him Chrome Padded Cell

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

All I can say is “WOW” thank you all so much for your support, thoughts, and prayers. I have missed all of you. I hope to be posting random thoughts soon. I wrote over 16 pages of crud while hanging in a hospital for three days. I usually don’t post journal entries, but I think I might post a few because they are so depressing and fun.

I am doing ok and Kat is doing worse then I am. That is to be expected. Part of my torture was to watch her bare it all. Physical and Mental pain. She felt the full brunt of the experience and all I could do was watch, hold her hand and cry with her. Everyone is right in saying it’s for the best. It’s true in so many ways. Now we just have to learn to deal with what we experienced and fit it into our daily routine. The wounds will never heal. We just have to move on and deal proper. We already decided to try again in three months once Kat is healed. It’s appears we make better boys. Ours girls are sorta duds.

Thank you all again!! It was amazing coming back on line after 4 days and seeing all of your responses. This friggin blog thing is a great support system!! I will be back and Funky Fresh Freddie I promise to you I will post more songs can't let our biggest fan down... wait who is the the bigger fan, you, funky fesh freddie, or bookend? Well fight amongst yourselves.

Sharon (purplepyramid) are you back!?!? Miss ya!!!! Come hang out with us soon!!!!

Bookend and Diane Di Prima

2005-02-22T12:10:00.000-05:00

Bookend let me borrow a great book recently entitled “Memoirs of a Beatnik” Every book I read always has a perfect moment that sums up the book for me. This book had several, but one is my absolute favorite because I relate to it so well and you might as well.

Page 147
Diane was explaining visiting someone’s house in a normal society is like being on a brief vacation. She writes:

“Betty’s house was a good vacation, a reminder of how the rest of the world lived and thought, afterwards we would trot gratefully home to our freezing apartment, our silly unintellectual conversation, and out lentil soup.”

I adore these lines!!
Especially “our silly unintellectual conversation” part!! Precisely written!! I can relate to them so well, It’s as these words came from my own pen. Going anywhere, Work, Mom, Dads, Brothers it’s so pristine (definitely in my case) so calculated. Situation and conversations. Everything is sterile!!! Sometimes I can’t wait for the clock to show me the door. I return back to my real life. I guess my “UNAMERICAN DREAM” I am not looking for the better car, the better job, the better appliance, the better finance charge. I just want to be happy. Simplistic as it sounds millions of people in this creepy world are unhappy. Believe me I am not saying the typical American dream is wrong at all. Every persons dream is individual and should be followed accordingly.

Good luck with yours!
Go for what you know and want!!

Thanx Bookend for letting me borrow tis book!! I love it!!! I will never forget that line!!!

BM's New Crush!!!!

2005-02-17T12:55:00.000-05:00

She is one funky guitar player and she is hot!! Check her out at www.kakiking.com
Let me know what everyone thinks!! I want to see if you like her music as much as I do!!!!

More Marinade for the Masses. “My Man is a Her”

2005-02-17T08:55:00.000-05:00

BM- Screeching
DT- Keyboard
Jed- A drum hit or two, listen close you might find one.

All the Marinade clips are produced by DT, Donny Rotten Studios. With out him we wouldn’t be able to torture anyone. Much love at props to DT!!!!

The Musical Marinades: “Taco Dinner”

2005-02-16T14:29:00.000-05:00

BM-Retard
DT- Keyboard
Jed- Sleeping and he might have fallen into the bass drum twice.

A taste of Musical Marinade Monday!!! Enjoy

2005-02-15T09:53:00.000-05:00

BM- Guitar and Vocals

DT- Keyboard and Vocals

Jed- Maracas

New Items on BM's like list!

2005-02-14T15:36:00.000-05:00

Grapefruit Halls Defense Suplement Drops and Chocolate Lucky Charms!!! If I did or ever believe in a god, I now believe in lucky that sexy little green freak of a leprechaun!!!

Someone disagrees

2005-02-14T10:19:00.000-05:00

Paisley the pup says, "I am to a dog!!"

Dumb Fun!

2005-02-14T10:07:00.000-05:00

Eating two bags of conversation hearts in one day is not advised. I think I may puke a novel. Lots of little phrases meld together in my stomach. If I do puke a novel it will be one of those cheesy romance books with a shirtless Fabio on the cover. If you decide not to heed my warning and eat two bags of conversation hearts can I please make a suggestion? Ok assuming you said yes, make sure they are the Necco brand. Any others suck like Braches and any other impersonators suck, SUCK really suck . Necco has more fruit flavors for the buck! I find fruit goes down better then the spiced kind. That is the only reason I care valentines day exists is for the candy. Now that I think about that is the reason for every Holiday. This is why Halloween is my favorite, my list:

Valentines Day: Conversation hearts and Cinnamon imperials

Easter: Cadbury Cream Eggs and Chocolate malted eggs

St. Patrick’s Day: beer of course. Ohh its candy. Not into the green beer because of a little philosophy I have, any beer that is light enough to be changed to the color green is not beer. That is soda. Guinness can not be colored green and because it is the best beer in the world. A lot of people consider small dogs not to be dogs. I agree with them even though I am a small dog owner.

Forth of July: Bomb Pops

Halloween: Any candy imaginable

Thanksgiving: PIE!!!! (Not really candy I guess but I can save some conversation hearts to put on top)

Christmas: Candy Canes are yummy and big league chew!!

That’s my brief list. To all the lovers, Loviess, and loveless I say, “Cheers”
Fuck um’ if ya got um’!!!!

Nothing says, “Love” like a windshield wiper.

2005-02-14T09:13:00.000-05:00

"Love"

I have a strobe light in my head

2005-02-11T10:31:00.001-05:00

Do I speak in tongues?
Do I speak in riddle?
Am I that hard to understand?
Do I not make sense?
Have you ever had anyone look at you and say “Wow, I have no idea what you are talking about?” Genuinely, not like they were trying to be funny and make a joke, but in serious situations? It all makes sense in my head. Then again, I guess it would. I get that statement a lot. Today, yesterday, the day before, and I am sure tomorrow. My very own step mother actually stepped back once and said “When you talk I have no Idea what you mean” I know I don’t have perfect speech. Sometimes I mumble, sometimes I slur, and sometimes I stammer and stutter. This isn’t the problem they speak of. They understand the words I use. They don’t understand when I combine and compile them into a sentence. I m not offended by their sideways tilted head. Like seeing me at a different angle will help with the translation. I don’t use big words I think. Actually I think my vocabulary sucks. I talk in laymens terms. I have been referred to as spaceman and out there boy by coworkers. I guess some off my analogies are a bit out there, but not to me. It all makes perfect sense in my head. That is the place it should matter most. To tell you the truth I enjoy the stare that people sometimes give me when I a, talking to them. I never realize I am not making sense to them when they tilt their head like a dog who hears a distant noise. The thing is (for coworkers and my step mom) I bet in their head they are thinking “This guy is a fucking idiot” I really don’t mind that. I find it to be a compliment. It’s true a compliment. Hmmmm an analogy… so you love this band that no one has heard of. In my time I will say deer hoof. I play deer hoof for a person who only listen s to say Kenny g, or they have a limited Idea of music, right so they listen to the deer hoof and say, “This stuff is crap!!!” I laugh and say cool. That is a compliment to my musical taste because he hates it. All this guy listens to is Kenny G, I hate Kenny G so by him hating it to me in my mind confirms deer hoof rules!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I boy a wee one I was accused of an overactive imagination. I was out through many tastes to see if I was dim. I my opinion and please don’t think I am looking for your sympathy or a feeling that you have to contradict what I say, I do think I am dim. I have limited knowledge with most everything that encompasses me. I think my over active imagination is what keeps my brain stirring. Without it I would be a complete idiot I think. Now I am a partial Idiot. So check this out when you are younger and you are the guy who is crazy you are cool. As you get older and you have to blend into the real world with the majority of people being normal, crazy isn’t so cool anymore. The thing is a crazy person doesn’t know he or she is crazy they feel just as normal as the guy or gal sitting next to you. It’s all an illusion. Believe me I don’t think I am crazy at all I feel normal as can be. I think it’s the rest of the world that is crazy. In my space everything I say and do makes complete and utter sense.

Wow this is long. I apologize. I am an awful story teller. This is why I write poems because I can hide behind them better. My mind blinks, fit that format better, then say if i were to try and write a novel...

I have a strobe light in my head.

2005-02-08T13:09:00.000-05:00

Me and my big mouth screaming during Musical Marinade Monday. 4 1/2 hours of straight Jamming!!! I love random days off!!! Thanx to Greg R. For this funky pic!!!!!!!!!!!

When the Summer Comes (Cabin Fever)

2005-02-03T13:04:00.000-05:00

I miss the beach.
the sand, the waves,
the over producing, pooping gulls who spray white-out all over the hot black tar.
Pollock paintings,
from above.
Splattered to canvas,
resting in the nooks and crannies of the ground below.
Skyline visionaries,
caress and carry the wind.
I miss the smell of over oiled humans broiling in the sun.
The blisters the sun provides when left into long.
I like mine rare,
red bleeding
or pale skin.
Not bronze plated,
tan is overrated.
I miss summer drinks,
and longer days.
Late evening barbeques,
being warm enough,
to go without a coat.
Early morning sunrises,
running through the progression.
Dark when starting,
Light when finishing.
To see the sun,
peek over the horizon,
eye level,
revealing the fields of corn.
The new day is born
and I was there during delivery.
I witnessed the coming
now I will follow it along.

I Need New Strings

2005-02-01T09:38:00.000-05:00

The calluses on the tips of fingers are lessoning,
meaning lack of playing.
In a way,
its better then practicing incessantly like a mental patient.
Trying to out do myself and everyone else.
Besides I need new strings.
Broke the big E with a “Gruuunnnngggg" (fade out)
Donny and Jed stop,
look at me and ask, “Again?”
I Reply “Yeah”
like a 5 year old getting caught out for spilling milk.
It’s my over zealous wrist, finger and pick.
Trying to keep time,
with the beat supplied,
and the words in my mind.
I break more strings then I blow tubes in the tires of my bike.
It’s probably my lack of skill.
The blood from my thumb tells the tale.
Peeled back like a banana reveling pinkish flesh.
Sticking my hand in a cheeses grater,
pieces of me shot through out the room.
I am mangled yet intact.
Still as one,
defiled with some assembly required.
I am cut off like a drunk in a bar,
one more then you have to go home.
I need strings and the summer is coming.
warm hands and longer days.
I am ready now,
steady,
and able to start going.

Holy Crap!!!

2005-01-28T16:34:00.000-05:00

I found some really old poems that i wrote about 1995!! They were poems i wrote at work and saved them to disk and stored them away. Somome handed me all these old disks (67 to be exact!) that pertaine to work. Perusing through them I found some old random paint brush art and some old poetry. i thought i would post a couple just for fun. Enjoy!! Man I was like 21!!! weird!!! time has a funny way of telling a story.

Closet tramp,
amphetamine queen.
A prison in the locker room.
A mirror sniffed clean.
Nympho Sunshine,
by moon will rise.
She gathers sheep
on constant streets.
Both trick and treat
For those who have the green.
I know the way to heaven,
and Angel is her name.

In response to a comment made for my last post "It's Hard to Find Good Help"

2005-01-26T04:59:00.000-05:00

It’s true, cute girls who dispense coffee rock my socks. Most guys I know can’t wait for Sports Illustrated swimsuit addition, but not me. I’d rather they made a magazine or even a 12 month calendar (13 month! make it a bakers dozen) of Candid Casuals of Cute Coffee Girls Dispensing Coffee (WOW look at those alliterations) It could be called, C.C.C.C.G.C (this acronym sounds more like a stammer) It stands for Candid Casuals of Cute Coffee Girls Confidential. The photos would be tasteful, maybe done on grainy black and white film. Color is fine, mix it up, hell through some sepia in there. I am open for exploration. That would be the magazine for me.

More things that BM likes

2005-01-25T10:34:00.000-05:00

Patricia Arquette's teeth!

That's right, she has the hottest teeth in America and potentially beyond! I am sure she has a nice bum and breasts, but I’m in for her great teeth. Her teeth have character. I should start my very own fan site dedicated to Patricia Arquette’s teeth. I wonder if there are any ot there? I must check now good bye.

I love you Patricia Arquette’s Teeth, you move me.

2005-01-25T09:24:00.000-05:00

I love this monkey more then any word can express!

This picture was taken by http://www.rdpphotography.com take a visit he is amazing!

2005-01-25T09:16:00.000-05:00

hey!!! Look who it is!!!

BM, further explains his Blog...

2005-01-14T19:35:00.000-05:00

What is my blog?

My blog is your blog exactly but different in the way that it’s individual... it's mine. Stating the obvious like fiction is false I am sure but I am willing to take that leap. I thought I would spend a second to examine the meaning of my blog.

Cobwebs and sawdust, the title of my blog has actual meaning to the term in two different ways.

Example one:

A cobweb is a sticky substance extracted by an arachnid. The Cobweb is acting as the blog itself. The format of holding onto a thought. The Cobweb represents my every day personal journal which I write in once a day

Sawdust particles thrown to the bottom by a piece of whole substance. The words in which I type/write are my sawdust. The bits and fragments of the whole entire picture.
Snap shots in verse, out of context metaphors, ramblings out of pattern of the actual point. The chunk of wood is avoided. You see the dust accumulated on the cobwebs.

Example two:

A lot like example one. The Cobweb represents the spider, but is not the spider.
The saw dust is accumulation of shavings from the true form. The piece of wood.
In essence of it all what I write in my blog are pieces of my real time, live living journal. Be it false, real, or inconsequential. It’s just a segment of the rest. That is my Blog.

When I write poetry I never like to tell the meaning. In creative writing class in high school /college they would teach you to paraphrase. God forbid if you happen to paraphrase the poem different then the instructor. F+ wrong!! I always believed poetry, writing, movies, and music to be interactive. Interactive meaning that whatever was provoked from your thought is the actual way it is. Life is all perception. No one will ever understand what you understand. I can’t tell you how many time people have read my stuff and told me something other then what I intended. The funny part is that the experience they perceived was 100 times better then what I intended. They had imagination and meaning. They paraphrased each line according to their personal experience. That is the best compliment. When someone sees something different from what I meant.

Thanks for stopping by and giving me a moment of your life. Every second counts and I appreciate that you share a piece with me.

Some maybe fiction, but every word has meaning to me.

When you read what read on here, don't think of me, think of yourself.

Work Woes

2005-01-12T17:03:00.000-05:00

Soooo in order for upper management to delegate every possible stitch of work possible like some sick pyramid scheme thing, they are now making us write our own reviews. I thought I would share my lame ass sarcastic review of myself hope you enjoy the monotony as I do!! My favorite is the last answer. I don't think they were amused, to that I say "Well you shouldn't have asked!!"

Evaluation 2004
Brought to you by Brian Mitchell

Q: What are the things you are proudest of as far as what you accomplished in 2004?

A: My most proud moment of 2004 would have to be my steadfast response to work. I always try to stay one step ahead of the game, to multi-task and to multi task well.

Q: What was the single Contribution you made to the company in 2004?

A: I would say my biggest contribution in 2004 was to keep up with the increasing work load, Being Warranties and liabilities, Labels, Phone calls, show samples or what ever should come my way. Inclosing all my greatest accomplishment is not a “Single” accomplishment but “Several” accomplishments.

Q: What are the tings that you didn’t get done in 2004?

A: Clearing out all the old warranties and liability claims for heaters and radiators. With the new six-moth policy in a effect it will help me maintain a better condition in that department. As of now, in 2005 I have eradicated all heaters that surpassed the six-month policy.

Q: What Will you do to improve you performance in 2005?

A: My performance is wonderful. I am the best.

Q: What can we do as a company, department, or me as a leader to help you do your job better?

A: Money!!! I have been a part of Transpro for 10 years now and feel my pay increases have not been sufficient enough. A 3% raise (if I even get to that level) is barely cost of living. It pays for my gas to get to Transpro. It is difficult to raise a growing family with my current salary. Giving me a higher percentage would greatly renew my sense of being at Transpro.

Something Smells Rotten!

2005-01-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

NO! It's no me, it's him --------> http://rottenrantings.blogspot.com/

Big ups to this suckah!!

Best/worst quote from a coworker…

2005-01-12T12:12:00.000-05:00

“Fiction is fake.”

Sometimes it hurts so much to think so hard!!!

My belated new years resolution. A BM revolution.

2005-01-06T12:42:00.000-05:00

(not to be done in any particular order will save resolution 5 until all others are completed)

1. Hit more people with my car
2. Make a strawberry shake (Completed)
3. learn invisibility
4. Clip my toenails on a more regular basis. They get so long am I am able to climb trees.
5. Jump off a cliff
6. get a tattoo on my elbow that says, Chili is Good
7. Huff more toxins
8. Burn something
9. Teach Connor how destroy a stuffed bunny
10. Eat sugar cubes until I puke (Completed)

I thank you Bookend for the motivation. I saw your list and thought, “Wow I have to do something more with my 2005."

I am a natural born slacker and without a good kick in the stool I would have spent 2005 like I did my 2004; Just to sit on the curb and watch the world go by. Something tells me knowing my characteristic makeup that I will pretty much do the same thing. Here is to the good life...

Uninvolved : )

"Cat Meat" Rumors, Chinese Food, and Ring Tones

2004-12-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

On the way home last night from work I had a craving for Chinese food. I decided to order, for pick up, Kung Pao Chicken and fried Rangoon’s. 10 minutes later (of course) I am waiting in line to pick up my order. I wasn’t the only one craving Chinese on this cold balmy evening. At the counter, with a line behind me I tell the lady I am here for my food. As I give her my last name my cell phone goes off!! At this moment every one in line behind me and the people behind the counter had some funny looks on their faces. Ok now this is some funny ass shit. Why is it funny? Well let’s start with a world-renowned rumor about Chinese food. “That wasn’t chicken you just ate!!” The rumor is they use cat meat. We all know the rumor right?!?!? I would assume most of us do, if not you, lets just say 95% of the people waiting in line and working behind the counter at the restaurant were aware of the “Cat meat” rumor. “Ok?” you may ask. How is my cell phone ringing have any relation with a “Cat meat” rumor and people with funny looks on their faces? You see my cell phone has a “ Caller Group” ring option and when any of my friends call the ring tone I have set for them is a mewing cat!!!! That is right so everyone was looking around like “What the hell is that?!?!?!” I knew what it was and started laughing my ass off. As I answer "hello" everyone else started laughing as well!! The lady behind the counter gave me a look that could kill a cat.

P-OKE

2004-12-02T08:25:00.000-05:00

Hey, you got your Pepsi in my Coke!!
Hey, you got your Coke in My Pepsi!!

“Can’t we just all get along?!”

A concept for the new generation.

Check it out!!!!

2004-12-01T11:37:00.000-05:00

New mix of “Hypocrite” by us BM and DM *QualityKontrol on http://www.myspace.com/qualitykontrol
Let me know what you think.
Please don’t hold back All insults and complaints much appreciated.

QualityKontrol is a musical outlet/project I do with one of the greatest people I know... DM cheers to you!!

if you liked what you heard check out our website for a some more tunes!!

www.qualitykontrol.com

A poem for an “X” who once asked "Don't you ever take anything serious"

2004-11-23T10:11:00.000-05:00

No.

Me singing in the shower

2004-11-18T16:24:00.000-05:00

meeeee

So True I had to Make it a Post...

2004-11-17T21:06:00.000-05:00

...I love the dark fluids of my life!

When Amanda said "Coffee"

2004-11-16T12:50:00.000-05:00

Stupid email, but then again I would be sad without any. How would I spend my day... working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? God for bid no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Save me from labor I don't want to die that way suckah!!! ok I am going way ahead of myself. I need coffee. Coffee is a great Idea miss Amanda. I sip on water as of now but now I will make the switch and take the plunge, Caffine here I come take the A train to speedferd germany!!! Shocked like a tazer, smashed in the face with a belt, watch my skin swell in the mirror... ooooh so pretty isn't it? indent turned bump, reverse inside out. Get the ice pack set the growing sack. Ohhhh to cold!!! Rather a shower...

A NEW MEMBER IN THE FAMILY... IT'S A BLOG!!!

2004-11-16T12:18:00.000-05:00

Yo yo yo family of blog
Please give a warm welcome to
www.drivinghomefrommadness.blogspot.com
An aspiring Author with a great dream

This advertisement has been brought to you by:

BM, the gentle clean shampoo, may your locks shine with the shimmer of a thousand stars.

!Hallmark Sucks!

2004-10-28T14:41:00.000-04:00

I want to create my own brand of greeting cards and call them “Horror cards.” I am sure they have something like that at a Hot Topic, but fuck Hot Topic. I gots my own idea G. Looking for an Anniversary card all I could find were sterile I love you always, you are my one and only and give me some sex cards. Those are fine but I wish they were worded a bit different to fit Kate’s and my morbid sense of humor. Here is my idea for my Annaversy card:

It will be shaped like a coffin, with a wood grain graphic to take on the appearance of a wood coffin. On the front of this card (the coffin lid) can be a personalized greeting like on a headstone. For instance I would write with a Sharpie “Kat and Bri 2000-2004” When you open the coffin instantly you would hear a muizac versision of the death march. The picture would be a colorful cartoon of two corpses holding each other and would read “I love you to death” the picture it’s self will be a scratch and sniff that will smell of dried roses, patchouli, and road kill. Ohhhhhhhhhh to dream a dream!!!

Happy Anniversary my stinky little zombie.

My Time of the Month

2004-10-26T14:55:00.000-04:00

I’m in a funk,
stuck in the mud,
my time of the month.
I want to hide,
under my bed,
wait for the day to end.
I play the sad songs,
knowing it won’t help.
It just feels good,
to know I’m not alone.
Let the night come,
to drive away the sun.
Tomorrow will be better,
sooner now then later.
In any case I will wait,
as patient as I can.
Until tomorrow,
so I can smile once more.

BM Says,

2004-10-22T13:31:00.000-04:00

Vote DEERHOOF for 2004!!! Great Group!! BM says a must buy!!

p.s. have a great weekend

I witnessed and sampled and now I highly recommend

2004-10-13T14:15:00.000-04:00

You must go here...

http://www.brainwaves09.blogspot.com/

please welcome a new blog member.

A conversation with BM about bowling

2004-10-13T14:08:00.000-04:00

Bowling balls suck, a 7 pound ball is stupid. To heavy for my frail wrists. I love duck pin bowling; its a tiny ball the size of a baby skull. Much lighter then the 7 pound adult sized head.

and that concludes our conversation with BM about bowling

I thought and I thought and this is what I came up with…

2004-10-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

If I played soccer I wouldn’t attend practice.

2004 OX-Cart Riots

2004-09-27T16:50:00.000-04:00

Update on the fair. Overall had a great time with the help of Connor, Kate, and friends. I would go again willingly and without hesitation. I believe the MC of the ox-pulling contest yelled at me. The story is as follows. Up on a hill, large as can be the group I was with decided to take a break. We sat and talked while we ate fried dough, ice cream dots, and fried Twinkies. As we talked we watched the Ox pulling contest. Crazy Hairy men with whips were screaming and hitting their ox to top position. I decide to scream hoot, and holler along with the ox-cart show. Minutes after screaming my friend Bob told me a couple of the big hairy ox-cart cheerleaders were looking at me. I let out a couple hog calls and sure enough Bob’s theory was accurate. They were looking, annoyed I must say. I went on my way calling, screaming, yelling, and whatever I could do. 10 minutes later the MC giving play-by-play commentary asked for the crowd to be as quite as possible. He said the oxen were getting confused weather to stop or go. How was I supposed to know the sport required the audience to be as quite as that of a golf match?!?!? I went in like it was a Rugby game. They should hand out pamphlets that show in article 2 paragraph 1b in the ox cart decree states no passer byeer or audience attendant will cheer the successes of the oxen or their big hairy cheerleading groupies.

I was responsible for the 2004 ox-cart riots!!!